


Morbid Multiplayer

by The_Mouse_of_Anon



Category: DCU, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bart and Khaji Da both have a morbid sense of humor, Is it really cheating in a game if it's funny?, Jaime getting grossed out, Multi, No Khaji Da, Three nerds playing Mass Effect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 02:52:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6734977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mouse_of_Anon/pseuds/The_Mouse_of_Anon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime is playing Mass Effect on multiplayer mode with Bart. Khaji Da is a backseat gamer and is largely unhelpful. Bart thinks Khaji Da's suggestion is <em>hilarious</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morbid Multiplayer

[ _This tactic is ineffective Jaime Reyes,_ ] Khaji Da silently stated in Jaime’s head. Jaime rolled his eyes. [ _It would be much more effective if you were to just follow my recommendation._ ]

 _‘No can do, ése,’_ Jaime silently replied, intent on his goal.

[ _No one would know._ ]

 _‘Wrong, Bart would know. This is a group mission. He would notice. He’s_ right there _.’_

For a moment Khaji Da was silent, thinking. Jaime felt the now-familiar sensation of electrical pulses around his spine that made it feel as if Khaji Da was drumming his legs against his back the same way someone would drum their fingers on a table; something Khaji Da did almost involuntarily any time he was lost deeply in thought. Finally Khaji Da stated, [ _It is an acceptable risk. The Impulse would approve._ ]

_‘That may be so—but no he wouldn’t. That’s cheating.’_

[ _He would laugh. It would be worth it._ ]

_‘It would still be cheating.’_

[ _If it is within parameters, how is it cheating?_ ]

_‘It’s cheating because we agreed to not do any cheap-shots.’_

Another few drumming-pulses. [ _The Impulse would be amused. Assessment: ‘cheap-shots’ are acceptable._ ]

Jaime gave an involuntary sigh, drawing a brief glance from Bart. “Back-seat driver,” he muttered by way of an explanation. Bart smirked and directed his eyes forward again. _‘Seriously ése, are you_ trying _to sabotage me?’_

[ _Negative. Your tactics are ineffective. Success would be more quickly achieved if you resorted to ‘cheap-shots,’ which are within parameters. And the Impulse would be amused. Assessment: ‘cheap-shots’ are acceptable, do not count as cheating, and are worth being accused of cheating. Additionally, because the Impulse would be amused, assessment: WORTH IT._ ]

Jaime gave a faint frown. _‘Khaji Da… You just want to see me get covered in vorcha-dust.’_

[ _Assessment: my recommendation is more effective. Assessment: the Impulse would be amused. Assessment: WORTH IT. Assessment: KILL IT WITH FIRE._ ]

Jaime paused the game to face-palm and give a groan. “I think it’s more about you wanting to be amused _escarabajo loco_.”

Bart looked over, an amused gleam in his eyes. “What’s Khaji Da saying?”

“He wants me to give up trying to not ‘cheap-shot’ the vorcha,” Jaime said, his voice slightly muffled by his palms.

“He wants you to levitate the vorcha and set fire to them again?” Bart said while trying (unsuccessfully) not to laugh.

“ _Sí._ ”

A brief bark of laughter escaped Bart before he could help himself. Jaime lowered his hands to give him a minor look of annoyance. The speedster snickered and said, “I’m sorry! I agree with him! I can’t help it if it’s hilarious!”

[ _I told you he would find it humorous Jaime Reyes._ ]

Jaime gave another aggravated sigh. “You _both_ have a morbid and _bent_ sense of humor.”

“It’s hilarious!”

“Getting covered in vorcha dust is _gross_!”

[ _It is not as if it is real Jaime Reyes._ ]

“But the idea is gross!”

Bart didn’t even bat an eye at Jaime replying to a comment from Khaji Da that he hadn’t heard, and instead said, “Sorry Jaime, but vorcha flying through the air and catching on fire? Totally crash, and _totally_ hilarious. I’m even willing to ignore the whole ‘no cheap-shots’ rule for that.”

[ _I told you the Impulse would be amused and that doing so would be worth it._ ]

Jaime raked a hand through his hair as he grumbled, “You _both_ have a twisted sense of humor, and I never should have introduced _either_ of you to Mass Effect.”

**Author's Note:**

> As an explanation for this small fic, one concept is directly owed to an incident when my fiance was playing Mass Effect. Namely: vorcha dust. Long story short, one of her favorite moves was to use her biotics to levitate enemies and then some weapon that would set them on fire. The enemies could never get out of it and it was guaranteed death every time– which meant flying flaming corpses that would disintegrate as they ‘burned out’. It wasn’t something either of us really paid attention to until a flying, flaming vorcha disintegrated right above her character’s head.


End file.
